Its about making memories worth repressing
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
