does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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