real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
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I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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