So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
