I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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