somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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