just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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