Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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