i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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