so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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