Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
