Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
