i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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