Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
this just has baby written all over it
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
