yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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