your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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