If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
