Got a toothbrush?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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