I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
