the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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