sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
