I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
