maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm like, not good at living.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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