super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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