fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
