i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
