Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
