Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
