Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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