Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
