im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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