I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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