Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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