Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
