More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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