there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
