areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
