Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
