why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize