He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
