I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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