Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
