he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
