I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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