Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
be right there i have to get my cape
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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