you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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