Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
