We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
