pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
