I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize