And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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