What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
