I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
