do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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