a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize