So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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