all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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