I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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