I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
