Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
