he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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