you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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