You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
