All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
