just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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