Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
