Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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