it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
