WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
