did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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