I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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