i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
